Cut It Out
I had a dream last night. It was blissful. The dream was about a brand-new show called Z List Celebrities Dancing On Thin Ice. The particular part of the dream that made me all happy was the bit where Dean Gaffney (Eastenders’ ‘Robbie’) was gliding along fine one minute, all ugly smile and ugly everything, and the next he was plunging through thin ice in to freezing cold waters below. How wonderful that dream was! Only it was a dream, of course, so when I woke up I was all sad that it hadn’t really happened after all–
I am sick of these TV shows. We’ve had enough of them, haven’t we? Strictly Come Dancing I understand. It’s elegant, it’s classy, and the women don’t half make it easy on the eye. But come on, let’s stop inventing new ones, shall we? Unless the next one really is Dancing On Thin Ice and Dean Gaffney really is in it (and the ice is nice and thin, of course) I don’t want to see any more of this crap. It’s time we saw something new, isn’t it? I think I’d rather see Cilla Black does varicose vein removal than yet another show…
Of course, there are many people to blame for these shows, but number one on the list has got to be Andrew ‘The Goblin’ Lloyd Webber. I mean, there he is on that other poxy show judging who will play Dorothy in his next masterpiece. Please, Andrew, cut us some slack here. Make this the last one!