Urban Journal

5 Things To Know About Londoners

I am a Londoner, through and through. For all you people out there I thought I would share what it means to be a Londoner and what living our beautiful city is really like. So whether you plan on visiting and just want to get to know the natives, or if you are just curious, have a read.

1) We tend to dress in smart clothes when going to work (suits and stuff), but jeans are very common. Black is worn A LOT. Obviously we wear casual clothes too, but the weather hasn’t been kind enough to us to allow us to feel confident about wearing shorts without a back up.

2) We use slang in our language all the time. “loos”, “gents” and “ladies” mean “toilet”. “I’m feeling peachy” means “I’m feeling good”. “Manky” means “disgusting”. “Tidy/sound” means “good”. “Porky pies” are “lies” (sometimes they can be pork pies). “Buff/peng/banging/mint/lush” mean “good looking”. “Sick” can mean “very good” as well as “sick”. “Beef” means “argument”, and “owned” means “beaten up/made a fool of”. They last few are terms used by younger generations, but are still useful.

3) We are health and safety ‘rebels’. London is extremely conscious about health and safety, which has turned us into school kids when it comes to obeying rules. We will often walk on the wrong side of the stairs and board the Tube (London Underground) without concern for those disembarking. Also, most of our meals include meat and fish, not exactly a health hazard…unless you’re a vegetarian.

4) Most Londoners and Brits are polite. We are quiet and reserved to strangers – especially on the Tube – but we still say “please” and “thank you” to everyone. And we’re not that bad, once you get to know us we are extremely sociable (and great drinkers).

5) Our humor is often difficult to understand. I didn’t realize this until some of my foreign friends and family didn’t understand why a said some of the things I did. We find comedy by being deliberately modest, sarcastic and dry/self-deprecating.

On a side note, London is probably the most multicultural city on the planet. We are extremely diverse, yet many of us are racist to each other. Not in a harmful way, we’re just teasing! Obviously some trust and friendship has to be built up before doing this is possible, you can’t just jump right in! I hope this helped you understand our culture a bit; hopefully you’ll come and visit soon!

The Urban World

When you are abroad travelling, whether alone or in a group you will have many things to worry about that are usually not an issue at all. Issues such as finding accommodation, keeping your luggage weight down whilst still having everything that you need with you at all times. This becomes even more important when you are taking longer trips through to the various urban sprawls that are dotted all around our fair marble in the night; Earth.

Today I want to share with you my advice as a seasoned urban traveller a few of the big does and don’t when travelling in the city.

1. Learn the local phrases for important information that you will need to gather, for example when you are looking for a hostel of hotel to stay for the night in Nice France, the locals will know what you need if you ask for Une auberge à Nice (A hostel in Nice), from this even if your skills in their language are not very strong then you can at least still receive a point in the right direction. Make sure to always ask for questions that will not lead to long complicated answers when asking for help, you will save a lot of time and bother this way.

2. Look in the more out of the ways parts of the city, although not too far out of the way. This is especially worthwhile when you are looking for food sold at reasonable prices. If you are looking in the tourist traps then you will constantly be ripped off in every city around the world but if you take the time to look carefully for local eateries you will often find much better food at massively lower prices. Look out especially for places that have local clientele, that will point you in the direction of both higher quality and lower prices.

Finders Keepers?

If we are to lose our wallet or purse, we all like to think that some ‘honest citizen’ will kind enough to hand it in. After all, this is exactly what we would do if we happened to find a –

But let’s just stop there, shall we? Would we really hand it in? Or do we just like to believe that we would?

I think that a lot of ‘being honest’ will depend on how well-off we actually are. Just think about it; if we are really struggling to survive, then isn’t it quite likely that we will simply just drop it into our pocket and head off back home…?

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The Big Bad List of Domestic Horrors.

There are certain things about life that remain an absolute mystery to me. Take the following for example…

· Why so many people will get so genuinely excited about football.

· Just how far technology can actually go before our brains simply explode.

· Why there are still thousands of people starving to death when we have more than enough food to go round.

· Whether or not we really did set foot on the moon…

· Why it has taken so many years for someone to invent a folding 240v household plug.

· How ‘The Scream’ by Edvard Munch can possibly be worth £74m.

· And why people are still buying records by Cliff Richard.

However, I guess that all of these things are simply tiny threads within the rich and complex tapestry of life… And perhaps we are not even supposed to understand them at all. Now this may be a satisfactory answer for a lot of people out there, but it certainly isn’t good enough for me! Oh no, I’m well known for being a bit awkward at the best of times, so this ‘answer’ simply does not cut it as far as I am concerned.

And then there are a few far more mundane questions that need to be considered; and these questions concern items that most of us will have within our homes! Here are just a few of the things that bug me big time on a domestic level –

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What to do if you’re depressed

Picture this scene: it’s a gorgeous day outside, the sunniest it’s been for a while, and your flatmates are going down the park. You, on the other hand, tell them you can’t go, you would rather stay in and catch up on some work. Except that’s a lie: when they leave the house, you just sit there and do nothing. Literally do nothing. You just stare at the wall and an hour later not much has changed. There are flashes of happy thoughts in that time, but you are not happy about them. All the thoughts do is act as a vicious, stabbing pain and remind you that you’re not the person you once were. They remind you that you are getting further and further away from that person. And it is simply horrible on every single level.

Don’t beat yourself up about it if you can’t get help, but do try and set goals…

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Space for dental assistants around the world

Since I am not in a position to spend a lot of time out in the open and since I have to spend bulk of my time in my room, I try to find different ways to keep myself occupied. Of course, you are completely justified in asking me why I must be so interested in staying in my room when it is not so attractive. Well, I must politely refuse to answer this question because that, apart from all other things, is completely besides the point.

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Whither human progress

The biggest difference between human beings and other living beings on the planet is that the humans are not at ease with nature. We are constantly trying to fight nature and overcome it. We believe that it is just unfair that we are at the mercy of nature at all times. This is the reason our focus has been on overcoming our weaknesses vis-à-vis nature. We started living in the cave so that we could avoid the freezing cold. We fashioned her clothes so that we can escape the burning sun.

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Graffiti: art or a nuisance? Actually, who cares…

Of all the debates that rage in the art world, one of these debates straddles the art world and places a firm foot in the consciousness of anyone with a pair of eyes and the ability to form an opinion: that of whether or not graffiti is a problem or a helping hand to the dull grey mundane nature of much of modern society. Where to begin? Well, how about with what art is…

Art, we’re now told, has no real definition. It can be anything we want it to be, at any time and any place. It can be a thought process, or a cardboard box. A dead bird or an unmade bed. It can be perspex signs covered in bird poo, or ancient Egyptian mummy vomit in wine glasses being served up at an elaborate meal function for posh people. OK, so I made that last bit up, but so what? The point is, if you can imagine it, it can be considered art and nobody has the right to argue against you.

…signs and billboards were their canvases, before they graduated to canvases and pure white walls…

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Racism: it’s just getting started

People say that racism doesn’t exist anymore. That it’s something we used to deal with, back when black people – anyone who wasn’t white, in fact – were forced to travel on a different bus to white people.

I say: RUBBISH.

I say: racism is more prevalent and powerful than ever.

I say: wake up. This isn’t over, you’re dreaming, where do you live and what, really, do you see?

I see a world where we all pretend. A world where you open a novel up and assume – and I know it’s like this for many people as they have told me – that the main protagonist is white unless stated otherwise. To me this is the biggest give-away of all that we have a long way to go. It’s just another marker that we think we’re better than we actually are, and that we’re all still obsessed with colour and class and what you do and who you appear to be.

You just can’t get rid of that in a few hundred years is the point, really.

We need a thousand, or ten thousand. And even by then racism will still exist.

multiculturalism can only aid us in getting rid of negative stereotypes

Bottom line? There IS no bottom line. If you think there is, you’re dreaming, my friend. Either that or you’re wide awake but with your head very much buried in the ground.

One thing which has improved, I suppose, is peoples willingness to be open to accepting their flaws. Some of us, unless we work for one of the big national newspapers. Hopefully, in time, more and more people will recognise that skin colour has been a thing of more importance to them in the past than they had liked to admit.

Another great thing is ethnic diversity: it’s all around us, and this kind of multiculturalism can only aid us in getting rid of negative stereotypes. The more interaction there is between different races and cultures the better. The more we realise that we are all as one, the less power minority-hating groups will have and the less they will be able to affect the opinions of the greater population.

It’ll take a while, sure, but one day people will realise – Jim from it support in london included – that we’re all on the same planet, and inside we’re all the same. And when that day comes it’ll be an amazing, incredible, fantastic time to be a human being, I’m sure.

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If I Could Choose

As every young man, my inspiration comes not only from work and entertainment, but also from things I would definitely like to have or buy. And what motivates me to work and makes me wanna get all my salaries for the year in advance in the new Alfa Romeo Brera – the 2009 edition. It is a car like no other and it is an attraction that some people might well say it is even more than a woman. I More